Hope you’re enjoying the series. Just telling you that this chapter specifically is fiction; nothing this exciting could really happen in my life, okay? 😂
Now go on, read Chapter-5. I’m kinda excited for you to read this…
Looking through his glasses…
I was standing on the balcony with him. He had his elbows on the ice-cold railing. I wondered how he didn’t feel cold. Although my covered back was against the railing, I could still feel the cold from the railing sting my skin, through my grey t-shirt.
I crossed my arms and leaned back, tilting my head upwards, and looking at the granite-like sky. Even though it was all darkish above, the horizon seemed to have managed to borrow a little orange from the setting sun. The orange from the Sun made the horizon a beautiful lilac. At that moment I realized, that he was the most beauteous shade of orange in my life; he changed the dark edges of my soul into a gorgeous lilac.
I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand having such a beautiful person like him love such a hopeless person like me. So, I had to ask him why he chose to stay with me.
“What is it that you see in me, that makes you want to love me?”
He contemplated for a while, and I didn’t bother to ask him again, because I knew he would eventually answer. I’m a person who can’t answer the simplest of questions that people ask me about them. Like:
“What do you think are my flaws?”
“What do you find best about our friendship?”
And, so on…
So, I know how hard it is to answer such questions, even when you know the answer very well. After a few moments, even though he broke the beautiful silence between us, he fixed me with what he said:
“Your world. I see the exquisite world in your eyes. That’s what I see in you, and that’s what others fail to see. People fail to see the beauty in your soul, they fail to see the world you create with your ever-so-lovely and intricate thoughts. Being able to witness all this makes me want to love you. I love everything about you: I love the way you breathe so delicately, though you blew me away every time you opened your mouth; I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about us; I love the way you live, unlike the others who just exist, and I love the way you throw your thoughts at me like I’m your diary. These are not reasons, for I don’t need reasons to love you. These are just four out of the infinite things I love about you. And I know I will never stop loving you…”
I’m not a very romantic person, and those who are close to me know this. I don’t show romantic gestures often, and I don’t expect people to be romantic with me as well. But, this wasn’t romance. What I saw was passion: his passionate love for me. And, that overwhelmed me, because I had never seen such kind of love for me. No one had ever dared to love me ever so passionately, as he did. It was mainly because no one could ever figure me out, neither could he, but he was okay with it, knowing that I liked it; I liked being a mystery.
I didn’t utter a word for a while, because that’s what I do when true emotions come out of people. What they say about me may not be true, but what they feel for me is as true as it can be.
I find it hard to accept so much love, just like Stephen Chbosky said in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
Despite all my personal beliefs, the contradiction is that this is one of the best feelings in the world; to matter to someone, to be more than just a composition of atoms. So, I turned towards him, gave him a big warm smile, and hugged him tightly. Just before reaching out to hug him, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in his spectacles, and at that moment, I knew what he saw when he looked at me.
His mind-reading skills surprise me at times, for what he said next was just what I needed to hear. He said, “Every time you doubt yourself, I want you to look through my glasses, and see what I see when I look at you: a beautiful, free-spirited and brave soul, who’s capable of doing magical things.”
I did look through his glasses that day. The picture wasn’t exactly clear, but I didn’t mind the distorted view. I think I know enough…